lawl its been a few years since i posted on this beast, if anyone wants to know how im doing can hit up my myspace or facebook if not i have a new lj, started it earlier this month, if ya want friend invite go ahead and ask . Probably wont be as fluffy as this one was :). Life is a bitch lol

Hey long time no see.thought i would update since the look of my journal was updated (thanks to naomi). Its strange as hell writing in this but i thought i would for the hell of it.
Been about a year since i stopped playing ffxi heavily. I still have the urge to play but really i would have no place so the urge fades quickly. Despite that i miss the friendships i made in ffxi alot. Paul(dade) ,Joe(Mooni), Gary(Rooks), Jen(Jenstar),Travis(Tyce),Sharon(Ryiluh), Lynsy(Charity),Charles(Chojka), Roric, Jinja, Glaenie,Vanny the list goes on and on its ..(If i didnt mention your name its nothing against you i could do this list thing till the end of time). Anyway not a day goes by i dont think about the lot of you guys . The friendships i made in a "video game" have burned themselves onto my soul and though im not around i still think about all of you and wish you the best.

Moving on, Ive been in vegas for 8 or 9 months now, its a pretty cool place. VERY Expensive but i like it. The place is Never ending, one the weekends everyone is out till the sun is up. Its nuts, as for the club scene... If you have a penis... enjoy staying in line for 3 hours -_-. All in all its still fun times and its still damn cool driving around a night seeing those big ass hotels.

I miss my friends in utah immensly but ehh gotta be strong life is life. I love my Nephew to death, he has to be the cutest little baby alive. Ill try to post some pics within a reasonable ammount of time and you will all agree with me!.
Some other random mojo, Charles (Chojka) is getting married to his long time girl sara(h)(sp). All sorts of happy for him and god willing i get to fly out and see him be shackled ;).

I could go on and on but ill spare you all (as if anyone is reading this anyway). Last but not Least anyone who feels like giving me a shout feel free, if you dont know how to leave a small note here and ill give ya my information. For all you wow players I'm Kestra on the Hellscream server.

Take care ,
Chima

PS. Roric if you see this , i think i was afk when you msged me on Rorix? If that was you hit me up on aim or again in wow

Been a long time since ive updated, honestly ive been telling my self i need to . But with each passing day more crap happens and i put it off, Guess its about time to buck up and give the whooper of a update this is gonna be ^^. Hrmm i guess ill say whatever comes to mind. I started to play WoW with naomi and the rest of the guys i hangout/live with, Started a Hunter on hellscream which is a damn fun class and im lvl 14, WoW is a pretty interesting game, its also about 1000x times easier then ffxi. After playing it i really realize how unforgiving ffxi is when you are a newbie, it makes me wonder how any of us ever got to 75.
If any of y'all want to play with me just give me a holler and ill make a char on ya server or you can make one on mine ^^

Things with my significant other are going well as of yesterday. We hadnt spoken to each other for 4 or 5 day, in which we had probably the worst fight we've had in our relationship. Funny to look back now , it started about her dying her hair, and went into the deep pain and hurt we have caused each other over this last year.Until yesterday i dont think she had a true barring on how i felt about our infidelities, Mine with Lynsy and Hers with one of her coworkers. As much as i play off my feelings, i have alot of anger and issues inside that im hoping to let go sooner rather then later, Sadly i made her cry with some of the things i said, i dont know if i was being overly cruel or i was saying things to make her hurt the way i do. but in the end i love her very much, and all the fighting, and all the pain and hurt, are all worth it anytime i take a step off the plane to see her or she does the same. Naomi i know we have alot of work ahead of us to make things right, but i feel its worth it, i hope you do aswell.

Speaking of Lynsy, We no longer are in contact with each other. A very tramatic series of events made stuff the way it is, and its probably for the better. Her life is definitely less confusing and stressful now that she doesnt have to put up a front with her husband about me . I can say the same about my life. Part of me still wishes we were friends, because she did help me in times of need, and other part of me wants her to rot in hell for what she said to naomi about me what I felt she tried to do. Either way shit happens for a reason, and reason enough is the way me and naomi talk nowadays with no held punches.

Things with my ls are .... just like any other hnm ls, we have our good times we have our rough times. We have yet to kill fafnir/nidhogg nor KB. Its very painful to see the jps getting what they want and even excellence (only NA ls to pull faf from the jps besides the original AS) get pulls on faf and etc, and know that my ls has the talent to kill just as good IF we decided to bot. Its very hard to sit and watch that every day. Having a bit of troubling motivating blms because of that reason, everything that a blm would want drops from King Hnms, and dynamis, and for some reason when your asssociated with a group of ppl, and another group of ppl do the same thing, you are OBLIGATED to hate them. So dynamis is sorta of a no go until 1. We get more reliable blms. 2. Find another hnmls that ppl dont get anal over when their name is mentioned (highly doubt that happening).

Did Divine might this last sunday. I can honestly say it was probably the hardest bcnm or fight ive done playing this game.... but along with being the hardest it is LOADS of fun. Took us a few times but we did beat it, and now i got a sexy ass suppodkajfd; (yeah sue me for the spelling) waiting for my rng when i hit 72 YATTAH ^o^\/

As for the personal side of ls talk, had my fair share of problems, nothing that i need to put a bullet in my head over, but problems indeed. Lost contact with a few ppl i didnt want to. Again at a 2 parts dilemma, me being bitter and angry because they decide to pack up and leave since its not perfectly how they want it to be, and the other half wanting the person to be happy and since this place isnt doing it for them , being happy for them that they left and wishing them the best. Struggle with that feeling on a daily basis.

Friend of mind Got a kraken club the other day, (based on a decision i made.) I recieved a few opinions of ppl on what should of happened with it, i didnt really know the circumstances on how LoO even popped. Knowing what i know now would if have changed how i acted? Dont know, am i happy with the result of how glaenie feels? Damn skippy, Congrats little buddy, Enjoy being in the 1 percentile of NAs on JP based servers, its hawt shit son! :P

A couple months ago i decided i wanted to play ranger. It had a very VERY rough start, infact i got it to lvl 12 and it sat on the shelf for a few months. But after a bit of time i got a group of ppl who wanted to join me and it has turned out very sexy when we have the time to exp. I got my black on the inside white on the out brother Cho on ninja, hes a great ninja and puts up with the ridiculous pt i made like a champ, so glad im getting to exp with him again. Ryiluh, not enough words in the dictionary to give this woman justice, im very privledged and honored to exp with her , dad gum lady just needs to have more confidence in her brding skills, you are doing great ryi keep it up. Mooni, who is relatively new to my close group of friends but made herself at home very quickly . Me and her had many inside jokes , and even made a bet or two in our short friendship (i lost) but it was damned fun :). Meek, who was a newer recruit into my ls , VERY skilled whm, and a very nice guy to boot. Last but not least the hobo clown dade, Hes been by my side since arcadia was made and i hope will be there when i finally quit this game. Paul is the type of guy who will let you know you are fucking up and wont hold ANY punches back, but will still give you love later. So my static is Chojka on ninja, Ryiluh on brd, Mooni on rng, Meek on rng, Dade on smn, and myself .. on rng (we love rngs.) Nothing is funnier then seeing a mob at half health all 3 rngs flashing their TP and then the mob dropping from 3 sidewinders, it never gets old just more good times as we rake in 7k+ exp an hour.
The job ranger.... is truly so much fun, i havent had this much fun with a job since my pld days, hell i enjoy it so much im in debt about 5m gil to cho (lyn i know you hate my ass but hook a brotha up with some gil every bit helps o.O) for a eurytos bow, thing is beyond sexy btw. Cant wait to get into the 75 and begin getting god gear. Though P and few others will disagree , elvaan look BADASS in full god set.

Anyways about time i stopped yabbering, so till next time (whenever that is)
wasnt so long after all, i blame it being 4 am ;).

later

Hrmm i realized something today, something very logical but just didn't notice it till now. When things are going great for me in Real life, My in game life blows ass and when things in game are kicking ass , RL life blows. Now you may think they directly correlate with each other, but the things that happen to make each good or shitty seem completely out of my power, so i ask
WTF cant a guy just be happy in both fronts???

Been awhile since i updated, Lots has happened since then aswell, Brief summary of what had happened since that last kirin. Arcadia has had a few problems with another NA ls named Excellence, i wont go into who or what causes the problems but sadly there will be more drama to come. Anyway last couple kirins weve tried had been foiled by one reason or another, so ls moral was at a low. No fighting really just a sad state. We decided to pick a up few new recruits, and thats just what we needed, this weekend we pounded out a kirin in 48 minutes, 4 bomb queens, another kirin in 54 minutes, Overlord bagodek, a pull on normal behemoth (yes it doesnt sound like much but the ground god behemoth is owned by one ls so its big news) 3 byakkos, 2 suzakus , 1 genbu, and last but not least a charybdis. (Deep breath). Dade finally got his kirins osode, which finally enters him into the pimped out realm, Ryiluh and Marcux should be getting there nobles today, so we have one whm left to hook up. All A's plds of lvl have crimson legs now, tons of ppl have harness and i still have more to give out... all n all its a damn good to see my ppl working hard and being rewarded for it. On top of the great items we are getting, we are having fun again, and thats even a bigger point. Anyway ill leave my personal life out of this in hopes no one kills themself over it ;). I just want to give a shout out to my LS from the oldest member besides myself Dade, to the newest member Vangelia/Vandrk, You guys are great lets keep this up :)

Kirin Captivator, Nuff Said ^^

Do you ever wonder how many times you can say "Meh i give up" to a person you care about until they give up on themself?
Your words have power, watch what you say ^^

I'm beyond confused on so many things. I would ask for a sign but you know that shit is only in the movies, so ill write a little letter.


Dear Confusion, Please stop raping me in the ass right when i think i got a handle on things, Love Chima

Eventful week to say the least, arcadia took a big hit in having 2 of our whms taking a break due to real life matters, along with it losing jen, it being the holidays,finals and ppl just not coming to shit due to whatever reason they feel worthy. It looked like it was going to be bad times this week for gods and etc. God knows how but we managed to pull it together. Genbu, suzaku, byakko x3 (happen to be our first time fighting him) were on the plate today. We hit up genbu which he drops a claw for us (the 2nd in a row) so the ls has 3 Scorpion harness, i dont feel any of the melee who it should go to have earned it so i havent givin it out *shrug*. Moving on ,i decide we should fight byakko next.... ill tell you this now, getting to him was probably one of the most stressful things ive done playing this game, not because myself , but because in 25 or so ppl, someone is bound to forget sneak or fuck up somehow, then you have the ppl belittling the ppl who fucked up and etc and etc, last but not leaste me losing my temper, all in all it was a hairpulling experience. Anyway we finally make it out of that hellhole and get ready for byakko, only a few ppl know what to expect becaue of their prior experiences with their old hnms lses. He is popped ,and the fight begins... and ends shortly ...... with a giant boot up byakkos ass. Rinse and repeat x3, fight was overrated like the seriyu fight, but was damn good to see us own where so many other lses on their first time failed, To say i was impressed would be an understatment. Im hoping to have us killing kirin by christmas but we will see. Besides that static hit 73, which is good... but painful really.... over all this time we've all become very close, and though i may see them in ls and etc, it feels like when we get 75 it will be like losing fonzy all over again...... oh well its a fact of life and time you move on and deal (Much <3 to all you guys). Anyway done yabbering about game so ill leave ya all be.

Hrmm Trust, its a long forgotten myth to myself and to most of the people who are close to me. I am a victim of my own mistrust, not only in breaking bonds that seem unbreakable, but in hurting the people im closest to. Today i can honestly say, I am my own worst enemy